I did it

I killed my first proxy today. It was all self defense, it happened so fast, I didn't know what I was doing until it was over. He(?) came roaring at me out of the dark as I was walking to my safe house, a rundown little apartment owned by a deceased runner. He(?) caught me square in the chest, full force, we both went down on the cold cement. I was flat on my back, he(?) was straddling me, arms raised up ready to strike, a knife glinting in the dim light cast by the street lamps. 

I managed to sock him(?) good in the solar plexus, sent him rolling off me. I tried to run, I really tried, but he(?) caught up, and fast. Knicked me pretty good too, I felt that little knife slide across a rib. Guess I tripped on a crack, we both went down again, felt my nose crack on the sidewalk. That knife skittered right up to my hand, I grabbed it and turned just as that proxy dove at me. I felt it sink into his(?) gut, I heard his(?) breath wheeze out as he rolled back and grabbed at his stomach. Blood was leaking between his(?) fingers, and he(?) just kinda lay there, rolling side to side and moaning every now and again. I couldn't just leave him(?) there like that. My conscience told me I was putting him(?) out of his misery by puncturing his(?) windpipe and slitting his jugular. My brain told me I was taking care of a liability, proxies are durable fuckers.

I don't know which side of me to believe.